The Glee Musical Shuffle
by Kurt's Anatomy
Summary: ADOPTED FROM EveryKurtHasHisSam. A collection of drabbles based off shuffled music from iTunes. Mostly Kurt-centric but other features. A lot of pairings included! Mainly Klaine, Hevans, Puckurt, Furt and Kurtana friendship!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

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><p><strong>SONG: Diva by Beyonce <strong>

"Honey?" Mercedes calls to Kurt, who's prepping the soufflé for after their lasagne.

"What's up, Cedes?"

"Do you think I'm a diva?"

Kurt walked into the living room of the Hummel house. Mercedes was slouching on the chair, watching the Beyonce documentary that Kurt had gotten her for Christmas. He let out a loud laugh which continued for several long seconds.

"What's so funny, white boy? I _will_ whoop your ass if you don't quit that insane laughing." Mercedes threatened.

"You? A DIVA? That's sheer madness. You're so low-maintenance. You _never_ cause scenes in Glee Club. You _hate_ storming out of places and you're _so easily_ satisfied with less than perfection. So yes, you're a huge, diva. But that's the thing I love most about you, baby."

"Aw, you cutie. Now get me my lasagne."

"Yes, ma'am." Kurt bowed out of the room

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: What's The World Coming To by Fleetwood Mac<strong>

Kurt and Blaine were walking along the street outside NYADA after a long day of classes. After a few paces, Kurt saw a man kick a dog out of his way for pulling only slightly on its leash. Kurt started for the man, but was prevented from doing so by a calm Blaine, who was actually seething on the inside.

"Kurt, don't. He's not worth your time. Besides, have you seen his tattoos? He might flatten you, honey."

"I just hate it, Blaine. What's the world coming to when I can't even walk down the street without seeing animal cruelty laid out right before my eyes? It's so pathetic and he needs to have a crash course in looking after other life forms."

"You think we should get a dog? I mean to spare other dogs from the abuse of other owners. We would love it and treasure it and it's just early practise for having a baby human." Blaine trailed off, after all they hadn't had the discussion about children.

"That's actually a really good idea, Blaine. I know I want children and apparently so do you, so we need to be ready. This is a perfect way."

So that day, they took a detour to the shelter to find themselves a nice dog they could call their own. Kurt would name it Evita and Blaine would choose the bed and toys. They were a well-oiled machine whom Rachel called Klainevita.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Paparazzi by Lady Gaga <strong>

Flash.

"OH MY GOD IT'S RACHEL BERRY!"

Rachel turned her head. This again? She loved the fame of starring in her own Broadway show and being a Tony-nominated (pending) actress, but the paparazzi could be fierce. Now she did not blame Britney Spears for her meltdown. There were days that Rachel couldn't handle everything, but she dealt with it in her own way.

"You know, I think I saw Ashton Kutcher at Wendy's across town. If you leave now, you could catch him. I heard he's looking extra cute today!" Rachel squealed with faux enthusiasm pouring out of her voice.

The paparazzi flashed a few more pictures and the journalists scribbled some notes down (probably about Rachel Berry having a thing for Ashton Kutcher) and scurried away. Rachel saw Kurt approaching.

"Wow, I never thought I would see the day when _Rachel Berry_ turned away the paparazzi! High school Rachel used to be so eager for the attention."

"Well, Kurt, I'm a completely different person. Fanny has taught me that fame isn't the most valuable thing in the world."

"I call that a breakthrough. Now come on. I need you to help me with my final NYADA assignment of my training. It a big one. Andrew Lloyd-Webber."

"Are they allowing gender-reversed roles?"

"That's the specification." Kurt winked.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. That's a no-brainer. But I have time before I have to be at the theatre. I can give you some pointers."

"Thank you, honey." And they walked arm in arm down the street to NYADA, where Rachel was welcomed with screams and cheers.

It was a good life.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So I adopted a story from my friend EveryKurtHasHisSam. He has given me his blessing to do well with it as it wasn't the getting necessary audience on his account. I hope you guys will appreciate this story and give it the love it deserves. The first 11 chapters belong to him but any extras are my creation. NOTE: He has provided a long list of songs from his iTunes to maintain the continuity. I hadn't heard some of them so it was nice to listen to some new music. So, I'm embarking on this! The chapters are only short I can speed through them! Hope you enjoy them!<br>**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

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><p><strong>SONG: Radar by Britney Spears<strong>

"Kurt, Sam Evans is not gay!" Santana fights back at him one fine Thursday morning.

"I'm telling you, San, Sam is completely gay. And we're both single and hot. I'm getting in there. I don't care what anyone says, I know I'm right."

"If you say so, Kurt. But how can you tell?" Tina pipes up. Santana blinked. How long has Tina even been there for, walking silently beside them?

"I got him on my radar. I've clocked certain attractive males at this cesspool of a building and I'm watching them very subtly for signs of their apparent homosexuality. Sam just happens to be the first on my list who has displayed said signs. I want to mingle. It's what I want."

"Are you seriously quoting Britney right now?" Santana drawled.

"Queens like Britney Spears and I must live boldly. If that includes making Sam Evans mine then so be it."

Just as this happened, Sam walked past, hips swaying from side to side not unlike one Kurt Hummel's gait on a good day.

Santana's jaw dropped.

"Well you're right, Kurt. Evans is a flamer. And it's now operation Santina for us to hook you two beautiful bitches up."

"Only if we can watch, Kurt." Tina warned.

"When did girl Chang get kinky?"

"Oh I've always been kinky. But there's never been the right outlet for my kinkiness. Operation Hevans is the perfect outlet."

Laughing, the three walked on, not knowing the Sam had doubled back, hoping his sign of the "gay" would make him noticeably homosexual to the remaining two doubters. His plan for Kurt was working. Success was in sight.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Green Finch and Linnet Bird from Sweeney Todd<strong>

Kurt stepped into the pet shop, looking around for the manager when he saw the sign on the counter.

_Gone for lunch. Be back in an hour. You won't steal anything. – Victor_

Kurt sighed. It was so like Victor to trust the lizards and tarantulas in his store to protect it from being raided. He decided to fulfil one of his lifelong dreams. To relate a Sondheim classic to a situation. Inhaling, he started to sing.

_Green finch and linnet bird  
>Nightingale, blackbird<br>How is it you sing?  
>How can you jubilate sitting in cages<br>Never taking wing?  
>Outside the sky waits beckoning, beckoning<br>Just beyond the bars  
>How can you remain,<br>Staring at the rain  
>Maddened by the stars?<br>How is it you sing, anything?  
>How is it you sing?<em>

My cage has many rooms,  
>Damask and dark<br>Nothing there sings,  
>Not even my lark<br>Larks never will, you know  
>When their captive<br>Teach me to be more adaptive  
>Ahhhhhhhh<p>

Green finch and linnet bird  
>Nightingale, blackbird<br>Teach me how to sing  
>If I cannot fly<br>Let me sing

As he sang, the birds tweeted alongside him. The mice scrabbled around their confines, seemingly searching for something. Finishing the song, he looked around him. He was hoping it would be a moment like the scene from _Enchanted_ where Amy Adams gets the animals to join in with her beautiful singing. He could picture Jayne Wisener in his head when he was singing.

Turning around, he saw Sam standing at the back of the room, clapping.

"You were wonderful, honey."

"Thank you."

"Why were you in here anyway? We don't have pets."

"Oh I was looking for a lizard to bring home."

Sam's face paled. Kurt poked his nose.

"Don't worry, baby, I know you hate them. I'm not their biggest fan either. Coffee?" They linked arms and went for coffee.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: No Time At All from Pippin<strong>

"KURTTTTTTTT! When is this damn cake ready?" Quinn, Santana and Brittany chorused.

Kurt stormed downstairs, scolding them.

"Excuse me, I've been slaving away at this triple chocolate cake so I would appreciate some patience ladies, if you don't mind shutting the hell up? Good. Anyway, the cake will be ready in just no time at all."

"It's time to start eating, Kurtie!" Brittany piped up.

"Time to take a little slice from this cake you're making." Quinn added.

"Or my flesh will turn to bone." Santana rolled her eyes at the quoting of musical lyrics. They were the Unholy Quartet, why were they being pussies?

"No even your quoting of classic Schwartz lyrics will make me go faster. Broadway buff or not, I can't control the natural cake-baking time. But it'll be done in like four minutes. Then we can gossip about boys."

"Yeah, cause we never do that." Quinn deadpanned sardonically.

"Quinn, we do it all the time! It's fun!" Brittany said, not catching on to Quinn's tone.

"Guys, it's done." Kurt said not three minutes later.

"God, I'm going to be obese after this." Brittany smirked.

"I'm just that good, girls."

"We know, Kurtie. We love you because of your baking skills."

The four laughed and gossiped the whole night through like they were in the sixth grade again. They wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Review guys and girls! x<br>**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

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><p><strong>SONG: I'm The Greatest Star from Funny Girl (Glee Cast Version) <strong>

"I'm the greatest star." Rachel said as Jesse unveiled the possible new strategy for picking their soloist based on who the star of the group was. Kurt eyed his best friend and scoffed.

"Excuse me, Rachel, I'm the only countertenor Glee Club has seen in 45 years. True story. You know the Warblers had never encountered one before. I'm something to be treasured. You're just Barbra 2.0."

Santana had something to say about that.

"Kurt, anybody can find a high-pitched gay man. What is really rare is someone like me. Sexy, fierce, a voice like a clean Amy Winehouse, god bless her soul. You're all replaceable except me. I'm original."

"Hey bitch? Try finding an artist like me." Tina piped up shockingly. Puck smirked.

"Lykke Li." Sam said helpfully. She shot him the bird.

"Justin Bieber, please do not comment unless you're picking me as the Greatest Star."

"When will you find a star with a Mohawk?" Puck put in.

"Mohawk? Puckerman, I'm pretty sure that's a rotten squirrel carcass on your head. Please remove it. PETA is onto you." Kurt said wittily. Santana hi-fived him.

"OH BITCHES PLEASE. Everybody KNOWS I'm the greatest star. You all got nothing on me." Mercedes predictably interjected.

"You're not a star. You're just a girl who can really sing." Jesse drawled once more. Rolling up her sleeves, Mercedes had to be restrained by Puck and Finn.

"Mr Schuester?" Jesse consulted the director who sighed.

"It's going to be a quartet. The results of impending auditions shall be posted on the bulletin board on Thursday. Sign up, guys." He said and stalked out of the room, Jesse not far behind.

"It's going to be a cakewalk." Lauren stood and exited the room, sass pouring out of her ears.

"Oh my god, the world's first singing white rhino." Santana muttered to Kurt, who smacked her arm, giggling along anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Don't Stop Believin' (Glee Cast Version)<strong>

"Promise me something, Kurt Hummel?" Sam said, hands clutching his boyfriend's.

"Anything." Kurt said breathlessly, Sam's beauty still as magnificent as ever.

"Don't stop believing in yourself. Be who you are, who you've dreamed of being and don't apologise for doing so. You're the most talented, beautiful, kind, compassionate person I've ever met and if you ever let those things go, I'll burn your wardrobe. You're the best man I'll ever know, Kurt and I don't think you understand just how special you are. I love you so, so much and don't forget that. I know I'll Skype you every single day and I'm coming to New York in a year, but a lot can happen between now and then. Just don't lose yourself in the bright lights of the big city. Don't forget us little people of Lima. Don't forget me, will you, Kurt?"

"Oh my, Sam Evans. How could I _ever _forget you? You're like the whole constellation of stars in my life. I'll never forget what we have. You're mine for life. Whether you like it or not."

"I love it."

"Good."

And Kurt boarded the plane for New York.

"I love you, Kurt." Sam said under his breath, tears flowing freely from his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane<strong>

"Come on, quick! I have something to show you, Blaine!"

Eight year old Blaine waddled through the forest, eager to catch up to his best friend, Sam. Apparently the adorable blonde boy had a really cool place to show him where they could play alone all day.

"Blaine! Keep up! You're such a slowcoach!"

"I'm…trying!" Blaine fought to keep up the pace of his best friend, who was impossibly light on his feet, like a cat.

"Here we are! It's our own little place. A clearing where nobody else comes. It's somewhere only we know. We can play here forever if we want to! No mean kids or annoying adults to send us home. Just you and me." Sam offered his hand to Blaine, who took it without hesitating.

"Seriously? Sam, this is great! I love it! It's so pretty!"

"Just like you."

"I thought you found girls pretty."

"Blaine, you're very pretty. Girls have some sort of cooties, according to Puck. Your eyes are very pretty and I like your hair and your clothes."

The two young boys hugged, showing their solidarity and friendship and maybe something more.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

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><p><strong>SONG: 4 Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake <strong>

"COME ON TITANS!" Coach Beiste roared. They were down by one and there was four minutes remaining on the clock. Kurt was stood with Blaine, pointing down at his boyfriend on the field. The first string quarterback. He was the head cheerleader this year and Sam was the quarterback. Oddly, Kurt took comfort in that particular cliché. They were in love and despite Sam's first impression of Blaine and his role in Kurt's life, they were very secure.

"Come on, Sam." Kurt muttered, wanting his boyfriend to do well.

Three minutes.

Two minutes.

One minute left of the championship game.

Thirty seconds.

"TOUCHDOWN!" Blaine shouted, surprising Kurt who had no idea that they had even scored. He was busy staring at his nails.

"OH MY GOD SAM SCORED?" Kurt said, jumping up and down. Sam had always dedicated his goals to Kurt, but this time it was something else. He looked at Kurt and pointed to the scoreboard. Nodding to Artie, the bespectacled boy pressed a button on his weird machine thing.

The scoreboard flashed a message.

**I LOVE YOU, KURT HUMMEL.**

"OH MY THAT IS SO CUTE. But everyone's staring. Oh, screw em, my boyfriend is perfect!"

And perfect he was. He blew a kiss to Sam who nerdily caught it and celebrated their championship win.

So much can happen in four minutes.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Brooklyn's on Fire by Nicole Atkins <strong>

Rachel's most recent attempt to make dinner has resulted in a catastrophe. She had set fire to the pan, which was rapidly gaining heat. Running into Kurt's bedroom, she waved the pan around, looking for water. Leaning over the boy's bed to grab the water bottle she knew that he kept by his bed, the pan caught onto something, the blaze spreading onto another object. Rachel picked it up by the untouched corner and brought it out to Kurt, who emerged from the bathroom.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD. RACHEL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Kurt screeched, waking Santana from her evening nap. Ever since her appearance at the loft, they had been accustomed to the Latina's random napping periods.

"What the fuck's happening? Oh shit, Rachel, you did NOT!" Santana saw the burning object which Kurt had now taken hold of.

"What?" Rachel asked hurriedly.

"BROOKLYN'S ON FIRE."

"Brooklyn?" Rachel looked at Santana, bemused.

"My teddy bear that my dad bought me when I was nine. I've loved him forever. God, it's like Pavarotti all over again." Kurt said, putting the fire out.

"Except you're not going to try and get us into bed by singing a Beatles song about the bear, are you?" Santana smirked.

"I hate you."

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Should've Said No by Taylor Swift <strong>

"I don't care what you have to say, Blaine!" Kurt shouted. The first time that Blaine had cheated on him, he had been upset, but he had expected the second time. But with Brody of all people? His best friend's boyfriend? That was a whole other dimension.

"HE CAME ON TO ME, KURT. I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING."

"YOU SHOULD'VE SAID NO, BLAINE. DID THE WHOLE THING WITH ELI TEACH YOU NOTHING? THAT CHEATING HURTS? THAT I WOULD BREAK UP WITH YOU BECAUSE OF IT. AND YOU HAD NO 'YOU WERE BUSY' EXCUSES THIS TIME. YOU JUST DID IT. NO. NO. NO. SEE, IT'S A REALLY EASY WORD TO SAY. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE SHOUTING, BUT I'M SO MAD WITH YOU RIGHT NOW THAT CALMNESS HAS ESCAPED ME! I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS ANGRY IN A LONG TIME, BLAINE. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. I DON'T WANT YOUR MOMENT OF WEAKNESS TO LINGER HERE ANYMORE. GET THE FUCK OUT YOU ADULTEROUS BASTARD!"

Tears rolled down Blaine's cheeks. He deserved it. He cheated…again. That was inexcusable.

"Kurt, I felt like you were slipping away. If I hadn't have cheated…" Blaine gulped.

"You might still have me." Kurt looked back, saying the words Blaine feared. "And Blaine?" Kurt added as Blaine was leaving.

"Yes, Kurt?"

"I hope he was worth it." Kurt said, slamming the door after his ex-boyfriend.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Clarity (Live) by Foxes<strong>

"This isn't working." Blaine muttered sadly to Kurt, who just nodded. He knew this was coming.

"I don't get it. If our relationship is such a tragic mess, why do I feel so clarified and completed?"

"Because this is the outside part of the relationship. Where it looks to everyone else like it's perfect and we're in love and everything smells like roses. The truth is that it doesn't and we both know that. This is not a breakup. This is an understanding between two boyfriends that their relationship doesn't work but they still love each other. I think reverting back to best friends is out best option. I still love you, Kurt, and I definitely always will. I don't want to be without you and you're an amazing friend to have. So what do you say? Besties for life?" Blaine offered his knuckle.

"Seriously, Blaine? A fist bump? But yes, I agree. As much as it pains me to lose you, I understand where you're coming from and agree. We could've been perfect though."

"We could've. The timing was off, I guess." Blaine turned to walk out of the door.

"Blaine?"

"Kurt?"

"You're still my clarity."

"You're always my remedy, Kurt."

Kurt blinked back tears. No, it was a mutual, amicable breakup. He could not and would not cry.

"Are you okay, honey?" Santana wrapped her arms around him.

"No." He broke down completely.

"Baby…" She let him cry on her new dress because she knew he needed it. "Let it out."

And he did.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Inside Out by Emmy Rossum <strong>

"Finn, trust me we're never going to be able to live alone if you don't learn these basic housekeeping rules. You cannot possibly even think about leaving the house if you're clothes are inside out. If the tag is showing to other people, it's inside out. You need to change." Kurt lifted up Finn's shirt, exposing the smooth pale skin and defined abs. Kurt ran a finger across them.

"And if you don't let me get dressed, we'll never make it to this dinner at Rachel's because we'll be too busy fucking on my bed." Finn searched for a shirt.

"And wouldn't that be a damn shame." Kurt drawled.

"Kurt, do you still like what you're seeing?" Finn looked down, self-conscious. "We've been dating for three years now, but I've changed since we got together." He bit his lip. What if Kurt didn't find him attractive anymore?

"Finn, honey, you're stunningly beautiful. Your body is in better shape than it's ever been due to those football trials and your independent training. Your face is still as cute as a button and your other parts…well they still hit the spot perfectly, let's put it that way," Kurt let out a low chuckle. "Seriously though, you're perfect Finny. I love you now more than I've ever loved you, including sophomore year, which was completely crazy for many reasons. Trust me; I would not change a thing about you at all. In fact, I worry that I've become unattractive to you."

"Kurt, you used to be small and slim, but now you've grown lots and you've filled out. You're muscled and you've gone from cute milkmaid to hot stud in like a second. You're…damn sexy, Kurt Hummel and I think…I think we can definitely be late to or skip Rachel's dinner because you giving me those eyes if not helping this problem I have right now."

"Come on, tiger." Kurt led Finn to his room before his phone buzzed. Kurt's finger halted on Finn's groin as he read the text.

**Rachel: No monkey business. Get here now, you're late. Love you dear xxx**

"Crap, she's onto us. We have to go. But afterwards…" Kurt winked, leading Finn out of the door.

"Kurt, you didn't put any underwear on…" Finn said, confused.

"I know." Kurt smirked at his boyfriend, wiggling his eyebrows. Finn's mouth shot open.

"Oh my god, that's so hot."

Suddenly, Finn was hard as a rock again.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Birthday by Katy Perry<strong>

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!"

Kurt, Santana and Rachel all roared as the blonde model walked through the door.

Sam smiled, although his expression was one of shock.

"Aw, you guys! I did not expect this at all!" He said, though his eyes told the other three that he already knew.

"Rachel…" Kurt trailed off, sighing.

"It's not my fault that you trusted me with a secret that you clearly _knew_ that I wouldn't keep. Telling people secrets makes them like you."

"Ugh, Kurt, I was right once again. Trusting the blabbermouth was something like a surprise party was always going to end this way. We should never do this again." Santana drawled.

Kurt just giggled and motioned for Sam to take a seat while he went into the kitchen.

A few moments later, Kurt emerged from the kitchen carrying Sam's huge cake in his hands.

"Kurt! That looks so damn delicious! Thank you so much, guys. And you, Rachel."

"No problem, Sammy. We love you!"

"Yeah, but Kurt loves you more." Santana piped up. Sam frowned. Wait, what?

"Oh, Santana. You and your jokes." Kurt slapped her arm and bit his lip. Does Sam finally know something?

After Rachel and Santana had gone to bed, Kurt and Sam stayed up to clean the dishes.

"Have you had a nice birthday?"

"Yeah, it's been lovely. Thank you, Kurt."

"Aw, it's no problem at all. Listen, about what Santana said…"

"No need to explain, Kurt." Sam walked around to Kurt's other side and leaned closer to his ear so he was whispering.

"I love you, too." Sam whispered and went to bed.

Kurt's eyes widened and he was left pondering on that until the early hours of the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

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><p><strong>SONG: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen (Glee Cast Version)<br>**

"Sam, I think you've done enough training for today. You can stop now, honey." Blaine said reassuringly to his boyfriend. Sam had been training like crazy ever since he found the opportunity to model for Treasure Trailz.

"Blaine, I need to be in perfect shape for the shoot tomorrow. Don't stop me _now. _It's between me and two other guys and I've seen their portfolios. One of them used to be a Klein model. How can I compete?"

"You can compete because you're perfect and beautiful and your body is fucking sexy, Sammy. Rest and eat something with me."

"I will not even go near a cronut, Blaine. They look vile."

"You know, I'm pretty sure you just quoted Kurt word for word."

"So what? We share the same food values. But I like Doritos and he likes pizza. Blaine, I know you love cronuts but I can't stand the things."

"I'm marrying them, Sam. They're just…amazing. No, anyway, seriously you're going to train yourself too hard and you'll pass out and I can't carry you. Your biceps alone are too heavy for me." Blaine winked at his boyfriend, who was still doing push-ups.

"Five more minutes and then I'll think of another workout we could do…" Sam trailed off, winking back.

Blaine blushed and started to feel the blooding rushing to his groin at the thought of Sam lying on top of him after a workout.

"Blaine?" Sam called, smirking.

"What? Sorry? Okay, five more minutes. But by ten minutes past I want you naked on top of me, no excuses. Deal?"

"Deal." Sam smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Kiss by Prince (Glee Cast Version)<br>**

"He kissed me." Kurt stammered to his boyfriend.

"HE WHAT? THAT LITTLE PRICK." Sam raged, on his way to go and find David Karofsky and give him a beatdown.

"Sam, he's not worth it. Please. It'll make things worse!" Kurt pleaded, shock overcoming him.

"Kurt, he can't get away with this. He needs to be taught a lesson, Kurt, I'm being serious now. I'm going to tell him not to mess with my beautiful boyfriend again or else I'll leave it to Santana."

Kurt nodded understandingly. Santana was the scariest person in Ohio. She could sort him out if Sam couldn't.

"Sam, you don't have to be the hero in every story. It'll blow over. I won't wander off on my own, I'll stay right by your side until I'm at home, where he can't fucking touch me. You can protect me without violence. I'm campaigning for a zero-tolerance policy like at Dalton and my boyfriend fighting a jock might not be the best statistic for me to base my campaign on." Kurt slithered over to Sam, hugging his boyfriend tightly, his hard torso creating a safe environment for him.

"I'll settle on this occasion, but if he _ever_ tries anything like that again, I'll beat his ass to the ground."

"You're so hot when you're angry, Sammy." Kurt commented without thinking.

"Maybe you should say something else to set me off then." Sam suggested quickly.

"You know Avatar? I hated it." Kurt whispered in his ear.

Sam just smirked and cuddled his boyfriend.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Toxic by Britney Spears (Glee Cast Version)- Season 5 Version<strong>

Blaine loaded up his laptop and began to look at the latest videos that Wes and David had sent him. One was labelled "Glee Club Rehearsal #121". He opened the file and saw his boyfriend on the screen, dressed in hardly anything, abs showing.

On the video, Kurt twirled and performed a series of eloquent movements to the sound of three girls singing Britney Spears' "Toxic". The note attached to the email was "Dance Solo Assignment Week in ND". Blaine guessed that this was Kurt's solo, the song performed by Quinn, Santana and Brittany.

The positions his lithe boyfriend was occupying astounded him. Like, he knew Kurt was flexible like an elastic band, but he had no idea how aroused he could be because of them. He needed to Kurt to try some of these positions in bed, like ASAP.

Kurt walked through the door and saw himself dancing on screen, as Blaine had his headphones in, he hadn't heard or seen Kurt.

"BLAINE." Kurt scolded, confused as to how Blaine was watching his performance.

"Kurt, oh my god. Wes and David…they sent me this video. I think your dancing is hot though, Kurt. Will you dance for me?" Blaine asked shyly.

"I'm a little…overdressed, don't you think?"

"Very. The layers, Kurt. Off." Blaine instructed imperatively.

"Yes, sir." Kurt began to strip and Blaine was suddenly thanking Wes and David for being a part of his life.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Pretty When You Cry by Lana Del Rey<strong>

"I told you, Blaine, I have as much sex appeal as a baby penguin!" Kurt said, as Blaine threaded his fingers through his boyfriend's. Suddenly, Kurt began to sob.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, I'm not sexy and you deserve someone sexy and as beautiful as you are but I'm not that for you and I'm really sorry. I try to be all sexy and flirtatious, but it just doesn't work on me and I just don't like the fact that you've been so patient with the sex stuff and I can't, I can't even get myself to that place. Great, now I'm also sorry for crying, I bet I look like a right mess." Kurt spluttered out all at once. Blaine opened his eyes wider. Where had _that_ come from?

"Kurt, I love you. You _are_ sexy. You've grown into yourself and you're a confident, sexy man and I love everything about you. Don't be down on yourself if you're not ready. Nothing will change the fact that you're gorgeous and sexy and I'll always want you."

"Thank you, Blaine, I needed that. I love you, too." Kurt sniffled.

"Also, Kurt?"

"Yes, honey?"

"You're pretty when you cry. Beautiful, actually."

Kurt just giggled and smacked his boyfriend on the arm playfully.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Cool Enough by Nicole Atkins<strong>

"What do you mean, you're breaking up with me?" Puck frowned as Lauren walked away.

"Glee Club came in 12th place, Puckerman. I'm not a 12th place kind of girl. I like to win and I like to win…_hard_. So if Glee Club can't give me that then I'm out." Lauren sassed him.

"That still doesn't explain why the hell you broke up with me." Puck raised an eyebrow. Wow, he had been spending way too much time around Kurt lately.

"Don't you get it? Glee Club are losers again. If we won Nationals, it would be cool. But we lost. So it's nerdy again. Hence, you're nerdy too. I can't date a nerd, Puckerman. It's bad for my rep. I'll see you and your Geronimo haircut around." She rubbed his Mohawk condescendingly and walked away, shoving a kid a la Sue Sylvester. Puck watched, shaking his head. What kind of girl broke up with her boyfriend because of a show choir loss? Lauren Zizes simply could not be tamed.

Puck walked into Glee Club, without Lauren, for the first time in weeks.

"Where's the rhino?" Santana called out. After a disapproving glance for Kurt, she shut up.

"She quit. Then she broke up with me. She said Glee Club couldn't be cool anymore and that she didn't want to date a nerd. I'm still a badass, though. She'll see, soon enough. I mean how am I not cool enough? I could get anyone!"

After Puck sat down, nobody paid attention to the small, hopeful smile that played on the lips of one Kurt Hummel.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: I Had Me a Girl by The Civil Wars<strong>

As the door swung open, Kurt frowned.

"Hi, I'm Kelly McKenzie. I'm looking for Blaine Anderson." The girl smiled.

"And just who are you?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow as to what a random girl would be doing looking Blaine. Kelly McKenzie. Nope, the name did not ring any bells.

"Blaine! The door!" Kurt called and begrudgingly invited Kelly inside their house. Blaine came out of their bedroom, presuming it was his order of new bowties.

"Is it my bowties, they're already a few days late?" Blaine wondered, appearing from behind the door.

He stopped in his tracks.

"Kelly? Kelly McKenzie? Is that you?" Blaine ran up to her and hugged, before Kurt coughed and they broke apart.

"Hey Blaine! Nice to see you again! I was in the neighbourhood and I saw your mailbox and I thought 'no way' and I decided to come and see you. Who's this?" she pointed to Kurt, clearly not knowing some vital information about her old friend.

"Well, Kelly, this is my husband, Kurt Hummel."

"Husband? Wait, what? You're gay? You've been gay all this time? You could've slipped it in somewhere, Blaine! Forget it. I should probably go…I have things to do. See you around." She zipped out of the house. Kurt shut the door and turned to his husband.

"And how do we know Kelly?"

"Well, back in high school, before Dalton, of course, I kind of…had me a girl."

"Girl? As in girl_friend_?"

"Possibly…"

"Oh, Blaine, this is amazing! Now we've both had girlfriends, I was scared that you might have wanted the chance to experiment with somebody besides Rachel Berry."

"Wait, what? You dated a girl? Who?" Blaine frowned.

"I didn't tell you about that? Oops." Kurt winked and sat Blaine down, telling him the Brittany story.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Together We're Both Alone by Nicole Atkins <strong>

They hadn't spoken in a week. They lived together, but not a word was uttered. Their communication levels had rapidly dropped. There was no real explanation for it, they just didn't speak. Well, there was a reason, but both boys were none the wiser to the fact that the other had a reason. Kurt was feeling outshined, yet again, by Blaine's rising star potential, no thanks to the icy cold rejection of one June Dolloway. It was supposed to be his showcase, but he had nicely included Blaine, who had capitalised on June's fondness for him, taking her for his own and leaving Kurt in the dust.

Blaine, however, was silent out of guilt. Sure, he was partly guilty that he had taken June, but she had taken a liking to him and not Kurt. That was not his fault. If the reverse had happened, he would've wanted Kurt to take advantage of June's contacts and ability to make stars out of people. Though the main source of his guilt came with the recent events. He had almost had sex with somebody who wasn't Kurt, but Sam Evans of all people. The once object of both of their affection. Sam was drunk, as was Blaine and they were making out. Heavily. They had almost gone through with the whole deed, but Mercedes had walked in on them. Blaine was going down on Sam and she had refused to tell Kurt, wanting Blaine to do it. But he couldn't. How could he? After the Eli. C situation, how could Blaine admit that again? He had no viable excuse, except for his lack of sobriety.

Sure, Kurt and Blaine weren't speaking, but they was one thing that could probably agree on if they did.

They were together, but they were both alone.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: It's Only Chemistry by Nicole Atkins <strong>

Kurt shut his locker, only to be greeted with the beautiful sight of his boyfriend. Sam grinned at him, and Kurt knew that he had an idea that he wanted Kurt to sign off on.

"What's the plan, Sammy?" Kurt enquired, a knowing smile on his face.

"How on earth do you always know when I'm planning something?"

"It's a gift." Kurt shrugged.

"Anyway, I was wondering if we could skip fourth period and go somewhere. I have something amazing planned for you, but if not we could do it another time."

"Sammy, that's so romantic, but it's totally during school hours. We can't bunk off our fourth, fifth and sixth period classes as well as Glee Club!" Kurt was touched by the gesture, but he needed to keep his GPA up if NYADA were going to take an interest in him.

"Kurt, you have a double study hall before Glee club." Sam pointed out, hoping Kurt would change his mind.

"But you know what I have fourth period. My worst subject."

"Kurt, it's only Chemistry."

Kurt shrugged and walked hand in hand with Sam out of the building. Sam smiled. He had done it.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Back To December by Taylor Swift <strong>

"I always think back to that December, you know?" Blaine spoke softly down the phone.

"Me too, Blaine. It was the best winter of my life. It's just sad that it couldn't last forever." Kurt replied.

"You mean us? That we couldn't last forever?" Blaine clarified.

"I guess. We were good, Blaine, the timing was right, but I don't know what happened. I guess it was just a miscommunication or something. We did everything right."

"Whatever it was, it's over now. And we should probably thank whatever it was for our lives how they are now." Blaine smiled softly, even though Kurt couldn't see him. He looked at his current boyfriend, wondering how on Earth he had fallen in love with Sebastian Smythe of all people. Sebastian's new leaf-turning was a factor, for sure.

At Kurt's, he did the same, looking at Sam Evans with a smirk. He missed Blaine, but they were still very close friends. They couldn't ignore each other with all that they knew about each other and everything that they had shared.

"I guess we should. You have Seb and I have Sam. Our boys are definitely thanking the Fates for our breakup? Blaine, are you happy?"

"I am happy, yes. We're still good friends, Kurt and Seb is what I need. Sam is what you need. We're good. Don't worry about that at all. Well, I'd better go. Seb wants to give me an early gift for Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Blaine." Kurt sighed.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt." Blaine smiled once more and hung up.

Yep, they were good.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Tiptoe by Imagine Dragons <strong>

"Sam, be quiet! Rachel's asleep. You have to be quiet. Try doing something quieter. Like tiptoeing! Tiptoeing is so fun, Sam, you should do it too!" Drunken Kurt was escorting a drunken Sam to the loft, where they would share the bed. They were just friends, but Rachel and Santana were telling them that they loved each other.

"Barbra sleeps for America, she'll be perfectly dandy if we wake her. I'll show her my abs and she'll appreciate the view and thank us for waking her up." Sam lifted his shirt, exposing his Adonis-worthy abs. Kurt giggled at the sight of his friend's abs, and a part of his drunken mind was wanting to touch them and any other part of his body that he could.

Kurt lifted a finger and trailed it softly down Sam's torso, feeling the defined abs.

"Kurtie, that tickles!" Sam whined, but held Kurt's hand on his stomach.

"We should go to bed." Kurt headed for the bedroom, Sam eagerly following.

Kurt went to change in the bathroom, but Sam just lazily stripped off all of his layers, even his tight boxers, and jumped into bed.

Kurt was none the wiser when he finally got into the bed next to Sam. He hugged the other boy goodnight and stopped when he felt something partially hard brush against his finger.

"Sam? Are you naked?"

"Shh, it's a secret. Don't tell anyone." Sam put a finger to his lips.

Kurt just smiled and went for it. He kissed Sam and they would end up doing a lot more that night/morning. When they woke up though, they would deny their love for each other and go about their day.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Rainbow by Colbie Caillat <strong>

"Hey, Rainbow." Santana strutted into the loft, carrying a plethora of shopping bags. Dropping them, she flopped onto the couch next to Kurt.

"Someone had a good day, huh?"

"Well I need to go somewhere and walk around after not sleeping last night, and I ended up shopping and you of all people know what it's like when you go shopping and you buy like veryghin in the store."

"I sure do! Wait, why did't yo sleep?" Kurt felt a blush creep up his neck.

"Well, to put it simply, you and Froggy Lips sure know how to make noise in bed." She smirked.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Santana. We'll go to his place next time…" Kurt apologised.

"And wake Mercedes? Damn, you got nads, boy."

"Good point. Maybe we'll just have to use gags." Kurt giggled.

"Oh, I have some you can use. Look in my box on the top shelf of my wardrobe. You'll find them and more things to make your and Sam's experiences much more pleasurable."

"Santana, I was joking."

"And I wasn't. Big deal, you like sex, Prancy Pony. That means you should make it better."

"We'll try to keep it down." Kurt said, retiring to his bedroom to recover the sleep he missed whilst having fun with Sam.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Animal by Neon Trees (Glee Cast Version)<strong>

Kurt nipped at Blaine's neck, leaving little bite marks across his boyfriend's skin.

"God, Kurt, when did you become such an animal?"

"I have a few little dirty tricks hidden up my sleeve, Blaine. You just haven't experienced them yet. But you will. Wait for it, and you'll learn to know and love them all." Kurt winked, not blushing for once. He had truly been sexually liberated.

"You sure have. And what do I have to thank for your little discoveries? Porn websites?" Blaine laughed, knowing about Kurt's disliking of porn.

"Nah, just Noah."

"As in Puckerman?"

"Yes, why?" Kurt didn't see why this was a big deal.

"How did he educate you about all of this?"

"We…we had sex, Blaine. I told you this. Noah taught me a lot fo things about pleasuring somebody, boy or girl. Can we not talk about Noah right now?"

"Kurt, talking about Noah just got you harder than you've ever been. I think I might have to rope him in for a threesome if he's making you this happy. Would you enjoy that?"

"Oh god yes. But if only if you're completely comfortable, too."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, now less of the sap. Undo your shirt, Blaine."

The two boys carried on with their day, both of them thinking of Kurt's time with Noah Puckerman.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Poison by Beyonce <strong>

Kurt scowled at Karofsky as he was slammed yet again into a locker by the perpetually ferocious jock. He needed to do something. Summoning some of Blaine's dadvised courage, he followed Dave to the locker room.

"Karoffsky! You're going to explain tome why you've been tormenting me and don't give me any of this you'r gay shit. I know for a fact that tthree of you football players fo gladlt homosexual but don't want to come out to the rest of tht team for fear of exlusion. So tell me why you take it upon yourself to bully me!" Kurt shouted.

"Fuck off, Hummel. I'm getting dressed now, so I advise you to fuck off before I punch you."

"Punch you. I don't give a shit. I don't care about being abused by poison likek you, but I would love to know why so I can assess its rationality."

"your'e a fag. That's reason enough, isn't it?"

"No, you ignoramus. Being gay is not a choice and I am proud of my sexualty and will not succumb to the horrors that your stupid abd of jocks is putting me thorugh. You can't cure poisonus attidues like that unless you've bene educated. I need to know how to educate you so you can treat people equally and noramly for a change, David."

"Dno't call me that." Karofsky loomed over Kurt.

"Hit me then, I dare you. I won't change, I swear it!"

And it all went black.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Lay All Your Love On Me from Mamma Mia!<strong>

Kurt lay on the bed, looking up at his fiancé.

"Lay all your love on me, honey." Kurt invited.

Noah crawled onto the bed, straddling his boyfriend. After kissing for a few minutes, they suddenly heard a click from behind them.

They turned around and Santana holding a camera.

"Fucking flash." She muttered, standing her ground.

"What the fuck is this Satan?" Noah enquired.

"Well Sam and Blaine were asking a couple of days ago about what the sex is like between you guys. I was just going to get them a few pictures to use in their own little games."

"Sam and Blaine are an adorable couple, Santana, stop trying to drag us into their relationship. I know how badly you wish to watch a foursome between us all, but it won't happen."

"Not now, because you won't let me show them pictures." Santana complained.

"You're a lesbian, anyway, why does this even matter to you?"

"I may be devoted to vagina, but seeing a good foursome between four very, very hot males can get me going too." She shrugged.

"It would be hot." Noah murmured. Kurt sighed.

"Immensely so, Noah, but Blaine and Sam would never agree to it." He argued.

"What if I told you they already had?" Santana smirked.

Stood behind her were Sam and Blaine, shirtless and waiting. Kurt looked to his boyfriend who was licking his lips.

"Guess we got some work to do then, Kurt. These two are quite big." Noah winked at Santana.

Blaine and Sam adjusted their boxers and joined Kurt and Noah on the bed. Santana clicked the camera again and only left the room when Kurt threw the remote control at her head.

"Alright, I'm going! Spoilsport."

Kurt laughed as the four boys started getting down to what all of them had been secretly wishing for ever since Blaine and Sam had gotten together.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Untouchable by Taylor Swift<strong>

Kurt and Sam walked down the hallway of McKinley hand in hand, ignoring all of the looks and the disgusting facial expressions.

"Stop worrying, Kurt. I'm out to the school now and I couldn't care less about what they think about me or us. Relax. We have each other and that is more than the rest of these ignorant bastards have." Sam calmed Kurt down. He was being shifty with his glances and Sam knew it.

"You're right, I just don't want what happens to me to happen to you. I've already been slushied once today while you were in English class. I might break if they get you too."

"I can handle them, Kurt. I've been slushied before. Yeah, it sucks, but it just gives me an excuse to remove my shirt while you clean me off." Sam licked his lips in thought.

"Okay, _Puckerman_, come back to Earth. I don't just mean slushies. Dumpster dives, locker shoves, the spray-painting of slurs on your locker. The air holes in the lockers mean the colour stains whatever's in there." Kurt complained.

"Kurt, it'll be fine, honey, don't worry! We can take them together and even if they get us, do you know something else?"

"I don't, but I'm sure you're about to enlighten me." Kurt smirked sarcastically.

"I'm untouchable with you. You're untouchable with me. _We're _untouchable, Kurt. They can hurt us, but we'll stay strong. Like I said, _untouchable._".


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Talking To Ghosts by Foxes<strong>

"Hello, if you're in the room with me, could you please answer? I want someone to talk to. Nobody alive is here, so I am asking the spirit world for some company please?" Brittany chirped, her hand above the burning candles placed oddly around the room.

Footsteps led right to the living room.

"Britt-Britt, what are you doing?" Santana questioned. Brittany put a finger to her lips and whispered back.

"I'm talking to ghosts, San. They're really shy though. Maybe because they never get invited to any parties by anybody so their social skills are lacking." Brittany pondered, more to herself than to Santana.

"I'm sure they're being very active, Britt, but I guess they're just scared of you. You are a human after all. I guess they're intimidated and want to stay with their ghost friends." Santana smiled back, sitting next to her girlfriend and soulmate.

"Maybe they'll listen to you, Santana?"

"I doubt it. I'm not a very open person."

"Santana, we've talked about this. I love you for you and I would never want you to be anybody other than exactly who you are. Please remember how much I love you and never change."

"How did this go from a ghost-whispering episode to a cute heartfelt chat?" Santana kissed Brittany's lips shortly.

"I don't know, I'm just that amazing." Brittany shrugged.

"You just are." Santana smiled, cuddling with her girlfriend as Brittany pouted and blew out the candles, leaving them in only the light of each other's love.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: When I See You Again by Fleetwood Mac<strong>

Kurt swapped the hand he was holding the phone in and readjusted himself.

"Baby? What are you doing?" He said into the mouthpiece.

"Oh you know, hotel stuff. Being on tour has its perks. Room service and whatnot. But it has some major drawbacks. Like the fact that I can't kiss you whenever I want to. And right now? I really want to. I just have an urge to, you know?"

"Oh, I know, Noah, I know that feeling very well. But this is your first album tour across the country, you should be buzzed about that, not hung up on the fact that you haven't kissed me in a week. I'm coming to see your show at the Garden anyway on Friday night so then we can make the after-show something truly worth the wait…" Kurt twirled his headphones around his finger and smirked. He knew that dirty talk would mess his boyfriend up considering he'd been without masturbation for a week (Kurt's rules were "No hand touches your penis but mine, not even your own, got it? I will know if you do.")

"Don't tempt me, Kurt. It'll be worth the wait, so much, but I don't think I can hold off any longer. It's killing me."

"Oh, if you bust a nut, I'll kill you myself. Painfully."

"I do not like the sound of that."

"Oh you shouldn't. Anyway, I'll leave you to it, see you on Friday! Good luck this week! I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Sweet Dreams by Beyonce <strong>

Kurt and Sam looked down at their four month old baby with huge smiles. Little baby Kate had graced their lives and made them better people. They were more patient, more respectful and their love for each other was ameliorated. She truly was a ray of sunshine to the married lovers.

"Look at her sleeping. She's perfect." Sam whispered.

"Sweet dreams, little darling." Kurt echoed, leaning down to stroke her slowly growing hair. Removing his hand from the crib, Kurt placed it around his husband's muscular shoulders, which had grown since his new modelling agency's look had a more buffed-up style about them, for which Sam had had to broaden his muscles. His biceps were larger, his abs were defined and his look was complete. He was perfect. And Kurt had him all to himself.

"She's our perfect little angel. I love you both so much." Sam kissed him on the forehead as he lamented about his family. He was truly thankful to be blessed with such an extraordinary family. A daughter whose smile could dramatically raise his spirits and a husband who continued to be amazing. Now with three Tony wins, Kurt Hummel was a rising star.

"You ever think about having another?" Kurt wondered.

"All the time."

"Should we tell Rachel? I mean she wants to carry the next one. Kate is yours and Santana child. This one is mine and Rachel's. That was the deal. Right?"

"Yes, definitely! You two are going to have the joint most beautiful baby in existence."

"True. It's going to be a star. But with my nose. Fingers crossed." Kurt winked at Sam who picked him up and hugged him tightly. He was so glad for his perfect little family.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Don't You Forget About Me by The Wind and The Wave<strong>

"It's only summer camp, Blaine. I'm not leaving you forever." Kurt announced. He was going to a musical theatre camp to be a special guest performer and to work with the young children interested in the arts. Anything to encourage children.

"It feels like you are. When you're gone for three weeks, I miss you like crazy. Rachel, Sam and Santana are great and everything, but they're not you. I can't take them to bed and kiss them all over like I can do with you."

"Blaine, I've told you. You and Sam can do whatever you like in our bed as long as I can watch in person or via video, I don't mind which." Kurt winked. It had always been a personal fantasy of his to watch his boyfriend and his ex-crush perform sexual acts together.

"But then what would Noah say? He wouldn't be too happy about me stealing Sam from him for the night."

"He'd be fine with it. Though you could also take Noah _with _you. That would be fun…"

"Kurt, you're spacing again!"

"Can you blame me, though? You three naked together…"

"Kurt, you've got a plane to catch, remember? Connecticut awaits!"

"Yeah, yeah you're right. At least I have something to think about on the plane."

"Don't you forget about me, will you?"

"Of course I wouldn't. You're my everything."

"You're my everything, too. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Kurt boarded his plane and sat, indeed thinking about the events he had installed in his mind. So what if his carry-on luggage was placed on his lap instead of in the holders?

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Beautiful, Dirty, Rich by Lady Gaga <strong>

Kurt looked up to see Santana Lopez strutting towards him.

"Santana, why are you even talking to me? I don't think we've ever spoken before this moment." Kurt frowned.

"Well I've come to a sudden realisation about something. We're quite the same, you and I."

"How so?"

"We're both beautiful, dirty and rich."

"I am not dirty by any means." Kurt winked.

"Uh huh. From what Finn tells me, your aversion to gay porn isn't as truthful as everyone thought it was." Santana was smirking fiercely.

"Can I have some proof of this?"

"I'm sure Senor Muscle-Man would be able to provide—."

"Okay, Santana! Enough, what is it that you need?" Kurt was blushing deeply now.

"We need to be friends. Allies, friends, whatever. I need your help in taking down the jocks."

"What pull do I have?"

"You've got the leverage. If you can sneakily snap some dick-pics, we'll be in business."

"You're more evil than I ever thought you were."

"Beautiful, dirty, rich, baby."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Higher Ground by Stevie Wonder (Glee Cast Version)<strong>

"Oh, I could just punch that smug smirk off her face right now." Santana groans as Rachel flashes one of her false smiles. Kurt lays a patient hand on her arm.

"Now, Santana, don't stoop to her level. You have the higher ground. Keep it. So what if she kissed Brittany when she was drunk? So did I. And so did Mercedes." Rachel held another Trainwreck party again. Enough said.

"I know. But just seeing Brittany kiss the Hobbit when she should be kissing me just hurts too much. I can handle her locking lips with you. You're simply irresistible."

Kurt scoffs. "Am not! Though I'm glad that you're being so calm about this. A year ago, you would have already smashed her face with a chair. Or three." Kurt smirks.

"Oh I would happily do that now if you would let me. But I know if I do, you won't let me have any more of Kurt Hummel's famously devilish chocolate chip cookies with the melted chocolate inside of them. They're my one weakness." Santana licks her lips at the thought of them.

"So seeing your ex-girlfriend make out with your arch nemesis isn't a weakness?" Kurt raises an eyebrow.

"You put that eyebrow down, Hummel, or I'll take my rage out on your wardrobe." Kurt promptly drops his eyebrow. Santana grins, satisfied. "And it's not a weakness, it's an aggravation factor. Totally different things."

"Totally." Kurt murmurs as he watches Rachel suggest numerous Broadway classics to Mr Schuester for her to sing as solos. Ones that Kurt would easily smash out of the park with his eyes closed. Oh, he knows about aggravation factors, alright.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Let It Go by Demi Lovato<strong>

"I have to say, I'm rather nervous to meet your little sister for the first time." Kurt commented as Noah walked him inside of his house.

"You'll be fine. You both have a thing for Disney Princesses and love me unconditionally." Noah winked as he opened the living room door and saw his little sister, Daisy, twirling around the room with her tiara firmly placed on her head. She heard the intrusion and looked to the door, unamused that peasants were disturbing her princess time.

"Hey, Daisy. This is my boyfriend, Kurt. I told you about him, remember?"

Daisy assessed Kurt for a moment or two.

"Do you like princesses?" Noah smirked, as did Kurt.

"Oh, I love them! Who's your favourite?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Well, it's obviously Belle! But then Elsa comes in second place!" Daisy squealed excitedly. Kurt nodded his approval.

"Belle is the best. The most graceful and she's intelligent and lovely!" Kurt's enthusiasm matched Daisy's tit for tat.

"Yeah, but then there's Elsa, who's just amazing and beautiful! _Let it go, let it go!" _Daisy sang loudly. Kurt felt compelled to join with her.

As they were singing, Kurt noticed something peculiar about their harmonies. Daisy sang well, but something was off.

"Daisy," Kurt started accusingly. "Are you singing the Demi Lovato version?" His eyebrows furrowed.

She nodded almost shamefully. "It's Noah's fault, Kurtie! He listens to it in his room a lot!" She pointed a finger at her older brother.

"What? She's hot!"

"Oh, Noah." Kurt shook his head. "Idina Menzel reigns supreme over any pop princess. Though I do admire Demi, Idina takes priority over almost everyone."

"Even me?"

"Of course not." Kurt turned to Daisy and gave her a pointed glance, making her giggle.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Upgrade You by Beyoncé<strong>

Kurt and Sam were sat in the cafeteria, enjoying their lunch as they did on most normal days. What was different about this one, though, was the aftermath of the Glee Club wager. Kurt and Noah had a bet going. Kurt bet Noah that he couldn't go one week without talking about songs. And he won, naturally, so Noah was his in-school slave for two weeks. The role of his out-of-school slave went to Sam, of course.

Kurt heard a sigh from behind him. He turned, a smile in place.

"Here you go, Kurt. A grande non-fat mocha latte with an assortment of stuff to put in it. I drove all the way to Starbucks to get your favourite. I know you don't drink from the Lima Bean anymore since the grande versus tall incident of 2010." Noah handed Kurt his specific drink and chuckled, remembering the bitch fit Kurt threw at the barista for mixing up his coffee sizes.

Kurt licked his lips at the sight of his coffee, eyeing Sam pointedly. "Damn. I might have to upgrade you, Sam. Noah knows what he's doing." Kurt smirked, knowing Sam's reaction.

"But can Noah do this?" Sam challenged, jealously pouring from him. Sam ran a hand across Kurt's thigh, squeezing in just the right places. Kurt squeaked.

"Okay, fine. You're okay. Noah, this coffee looks perfect, but my man knows how to rock my world."

"Damn, and here I was thinking of trading in Santana's dirty toys for your clean cut foreplay." Noah winked suggestively.

Sam scoffed at him. "Are you serious? Kurt puts on a good front, but behind closed doors he makes Santana look like she's about to join a convent."

Kurt blushed furiously and smacked Sam's arm. "Not here."

"Oh no, please, continue, Sam." Noah urged, biting his lip.

"Unless you want my perfect coffee over your head, resulting in you having to get me a new one, I would hold your tongue, Puckerman." Kurt sassed, leaving Noah to bow his head.

"Good boy. Now fetch me a cookie."

Noah sighed once more, resigned to another five days of uncomfortable assignments and coffee runs.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Piano Man by Billy Joel (Glee Cast Version)<strong>

Mr Schuester wheeled the purple pianos into the choir room. Kurt's eyes lit up, but Santana grasped his wrist.

"Oh my God, you are _not _even _thinking_ about draping yourself all over yet another piano are you?"

"Santana, I don't do that."

"Do I even need to list examples? No. But I swear to Madonna if you climb on that piano in any way, I will rummage through your closet and burn your Alexander's and your Marc's. It's your choice."

"Santana, it's _purple_. They're literally calling out to me in a beautiful A minor chord. I can't _not_ climb on it."

"I suppose Liberace is swimming around in your mind telling you to do a number from _RENT _on there, isn't he?"

"No. Actually, it's the voice of Adam Lambert, who is telling me to lie on it and then perform _Extraordinary _from _Pippin_." Kurt smirked, to which Santana rolled her eyes.

"Oh dear, this is the gayest conversation I've ever had. Including the one a few days ago which included discussion of watching Neil Patrick Harris strip down and glitter bomb himself." Kurt's eyes glazed over humorously. "Kurt! Stop."

"_Fine_. But Santana, I'm the piano man of the Glee Club. Nobody else plays it. They're guitar and drums kinda guys. Tina, Quinn and I make up the pianist contingent of the group. Do I need to call upon the music of Billy Joel and remind you of my prowess?"

"Oh dear God, please _no_!"

It was too late. Kurt was already stationed at the purple piano, playing the opening chords. Santana rolled her eyes and tried not to succumb to the music. She really tried.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: This Is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey<strong>

Noah sat distractedly, trying to pay attention to Rachel's story, but Santana and Brittany were discussing something more up his alley.

"We need to find another way to do it, Britt," Santana explained. "Scissoring is great, but wouldn't you love to find another method of pleasuring each other?"

Noah's ears perked up as he attempted to not get hard at the thought of Santana and Brittany scissoring.

"I don't know, San, scissoring is lovely. This is what makes us girls, the fact that we scissor. We don't have penises, so we make it work without them."

"You said it, Britt." Santana looked directly at Noah, who stared straight ahead and his eyes squeezed shut. "You know, I think it feels better when you do the alphabet thing with your tongue…" Noah bit his lip and crossed his legs, not unlike Kurt's usual position.

"It feels great and it helps me remember what order the letters come in. It's much better than when Mr Schuester tried to teach me by writing them down. Now I can learn and have fun." Brittany said excitedly.

Santana nodded. "And doesn't it feel amazing when…" She whispered the rest into Brittany's ear, watching Noah's reaction. He gave them the side-eyed glance and tried to judge when Santana was saying from Brittany's reaction.

Rachel was mid babble when Noah exploded. "Oh come on! I'm going crazy over here!" The Glee Club jumped in unison, shocked by Noah's outburst.

"Yes, Noah, I'm getting to end, but talking about Barbra takes a lot of time." Noah shook his head, glaring at the girls whispering in the corner.

"I hope you're happy." Noah directed at Santana. Santana paused before glaring at Kurt and Rachel who were about to sing.

"I swear if you two burst into _Defying Gravity_, I will lunge across the table and give you both a serious bruise."

Kurt's mouth snapped shut and Rachel looked furious about being denied an opportunity to perform.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So this chapter is my creation! I've tried to emulate the original's talented writing style as much as I can without completely copying so let me know what you think everyone please!<br>**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Flashing Room by 2AM Club <strong>

Every Wednesday night, Scandals has a disco night.

Every Wednesday night, Kurt and Blaine can be found frequenting the bar, freeing themselves from their usual humdrum relationship events. They tried to spice things up on several occasions, but there was only so many things that Santana could teach them.

So they decided to make a weekly date to Scandals. Hoping not to run into Sebastian or Dave Karofsky, they sipped at their drinks and danced to their favourite songs. After each rebuffing the advanced of sweaty bears who had had way too much to drink, they decided to call it quits.

"I swear, this flashing room hurts my eyes so much I can barely see the guy trying to grind on me." Blaine squints as he talks over the loudly playing music. Kurt nods.

"And I can barely see the guy I have to warn off my gorgeous boyfriend. I just elbow them in the ribs and grab onto you." Kurt chuckles as they leave the club earlier than usual.

"In a weird way, it's flattering though, isn't it? Having guys want to get on you?" Kurt nods.

"I get what you mean. There's something oddly reassuring about thirty year old lumberjacks wanting to have their way with me in the bathroom." He laughs musically.

They stay in silence until they reach the warmth of Blaine's car.

"Kurt, why is this so boring?" Blaine asks abruptly.

"Ugh, I don't know. I didn't want to bring it up in case you were having fun, but my God, this is dull. Is it us, Blaine? Are _we_ becoming boring?" Blaine shakes his head.

"Definitely not, although I do think it's about time we checked your bucket list for anything that needs completing." Blaine hints, knowing exactly which one he wants to complete.

"Well we could put on a fashion show in the halls of McKinley, or we could teach me how to play the saxophone…" Kurt drones on sarcastically.

Blaine attacks Kurt's neck, peppering kisses over every spot of naked skin. "_Or_ we could go to my place and complete Item #62: Use scarves in bed with Blaine."

"You made that up, Blaine." Kurt rolls his eyes.

"It doesn't sound bad though, does it?"

"Not. At. All."

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Good Girl by Carrie Underwood <strong>

"Oh hell to the no, Marley Jane Rose. Stop looking at Jake Puckerman. He may be _fine as hell_ but if you go there, you'll get hurt. I guarantee it." Unique warned Marley on their way to Glee Club. She eyed up the younger Puckerman sibling with a knowing glance.

"I know, we've been over this. I'm a good girl, I am. He's a bad boy. If this were a romantic comedy, we'd be highly compatible. But it's not. This is high school and I should stay as far away from his as possible." Marley chanted, almost like a mantra. Unique clapped, hearing her girl quote her verbatim from their last discussion.

"Oh you know it, girl. Hashtag preach. Hashtag 'Have you checked out Ryder Lynn's arms?'. They're what a girl melts for, Marley."

Marley conceded that. "Unique, I love you, but Ryder's a friend, nothing more. We get on well, but there's no spark. When I see Jake, I feel—."

"If you say fireworks, Imma punch you."

"No, not that. It's just…Jake makes my heart dance a little. Ryder makes me smile. There's a huge difference, U. Shouldn't I like a guy who inspires my heart?"

"Girl, you did _not_ just quote Troy Bolton in the final High School Musical film? Don't make me slap your beautiful face. If I have to stand up in Glee Club and slay the hell out of a Carrie Underwood song, I will throw things."

"I'm not going to go there. Jake doesn't even like me…" Unique softened her expression.

"Marley, honey, that's because he doesn't want a beautiful, amazing, kind woman in his life. He's blind and stupid. Now let's get to Glee Club before I trip up Jake Puckerman with a jump rope."

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Big Girls Cry by Sia<strong>

"Santana?" Brittany whispered to the silent girl by her side. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Britt."

"Are you sure? You're allowed to cry, you know? Big girls cry all the time. It doesn't make you weak." The last word struck a nerve with Santana. She always tried so hard not to appear weak to everybody else, even Brittany most of the time, but she was finding it quite difficult. It was the anniversary of Finn's death and, somehow, Brittany was holding herself together. Probably for Santana.

"I know," Santana muttered. "It just still doesn't seem real. And I don't know how everybody else is doing it. I spoke to Kurt on the phone before and he said he was trying to be okay today, and so did Rachel and Puck. Probably the three people closest to him in the Glee Club and they're managing to hold themselves together today. So why do I feel like crying today? He didn't even like me."

"People deal differently. I called Quinn and she's the same as you. She finds it harder today than she did a year ago. I think that's what's happening with you. You didn't really show your pain when it happened so maybe it's hitting you today. It was hard for me last year, so I'm dealing with it better today. Residual grief isn't a bad thing, Santana."

And that's what got her. The tone of Brittany' soft voice. The thoughts of Kurt and Rachel trying so hard to feel whole. His mother and Burt. She knew him, she _missed_ him. She was entitled to cry about it. The thoughts of his loved ones tugged at her heartstrings and she shook her head as a tear rolled gently down her face, meeting Brittany's thumb, which tenderly wiped it away.

"San." She soothed, allowing her girlfriend to lay across her lap as she cried. It was a private thing for Santana and Brittany would always be the one to hold her as she sobbed.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Chandelier by Sia <strong>

Sam crept into the loft apartment quietly, not wanting to make any noise. The alcohol settled into his brain rather quickly and now Santana was helping him be quiet so he didn't wake up Kurt and Rachel. He gazed up, distracted by a disturbingly sparkly object above his head. He figured one of Kurt's favourite scarfs was hung over one of the beams, but then he remembered his boyfriend's latest purchase.

"Don't even think about it, Evans. Kurt will _kill_ you if you even so much as touch his new chandelier." Santana warned quietly.

"But it's so _shiny_!" Sam whined softly, reaching above his head to flick one of the crystals. The sparkly fragment tinkled in the silence, capturing Sam's attention completely. Santana shrugged and went to bed, yawning dramatically.

"Suit yourself."

Sam dragged his hand through the cold fixtures, enjoying the tinkling sound in his intoxicated state. Then he heard a sudden voice that made him freeze on the spot, like a child playing a game.

"Samuel Dwight Evans. What do you think you are doing?" Kurt hissed, eyes icy.

"Playing with the chandelier, it's so pretty, like you. I want to swing from it so badly, Kurt! That's it. I'm gonna swing from the chandelier!" Sam tried to find something to climb upon, but was stopped by an irate boyfriend.

"Do you realise what time it is? Or how much I spent on this antique chandelier? Please come to bed, sweetie."

"But, Kuuuurt. This looks like so much fun. Plus , you love climbing on things!"

"Pianos, yes. Expensive antiques chandeliers, not so much. It would come down, Sammy."

"But, Kurt—."

"No buts."

"Not even mine?" Sam pouted, reaching around and smacking his own butt.

"Well, if you would come to bed, you'd find out, wouldn't you?"

Sam deliberated for a short moment. "Sorry, Chandy, old buddy. Another time, another place, maybe I'll get to swing on you. But now I'm going to have fun with my boyfriend. Bye!" Sam picked Kurt up and carried him into the bedroom, shutting the door loudly behind him. In the next room, Rachel Berry opened her eyes, groaning. Not again.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Howl by Florence + The Machine <strong>

"For future reference, please make a note of the fact that it was Rachel's idea to get a dog." Kurt moaned, hearing the dog howl loudly for the sixth consecutive night in a row.

Sam rolled over, groaning. "Are there like pacifiers for dogs?"

"Maybe we can use one of Rachel's hideous shoes as a chew toy?"

Rachel's voice sounded from nearby. "Kurt, this apartment lacks walls, you know?"

"I know." He called back loudly.

Santana's voice emerged. "Would you four shut the hell up? Some of us have a follow-up to a national yeast infection commercial to film tomorrow! And Rachel? If that dog doesn't behave itself, I'm buying a snake."

Rachel squealed. "Santana, dogs are lonely creatures by nature until they bond with their owners. We've had Barbra for six days. She's not used to us yet! Give it some time."

"I guess it's a welcome change from hearing Kurt and Sam moaning and groaning all night. At least this reason for insomnia isn't related to gay sex."

Kurt paled and Sam stifled a giggle.

"Sorry, Santana," the blonde boy called. "We'll try to keep it down." Though he did not sound too convincing.

"Yeah, sure you will." Rachel piped up.

"Berry, I _will_ get your shoes." Kurt warned and Rachel knew he was serious. Best friends had the way of knowing when each other's threats were real. "Anyway, this is not about Sam and I. This is about Barbra and her constant yapping."

"I do _not_ yap!" Rachel yapped.

"Oh, he means the dog, Berry. Quit yapping."

"Barbra, please be quiet!" Rachel told the dog in an attempt at a firm tone. "Oh, I can't shout at her. She's too cute!"

"Rachel Berry. It is 4:30AM. Everybody in the household is awake because of that creature. Sure, she's cute when she bites you, because who doesn't love a species who attacks Rachel Berry? But we are all trying to sleep her and necessary action will have to be taken if this is not amended. Silence the dog and let her sleep or face the wrath of fire against those pieces of vomit you like to call garments." Santana sassed. She knew that Kurt was about to let loose, but she intervened. She preferred when they took turns in bitching at Rachel.

"Barbra, please let everyone sleep." Kurt had climbed out of Sam's arms and tickled the dog's belly, massaging behind her ears. The dog panted at him excitedly and followed him into the boys' room where she curled up at the foot of the bed.

"Oh, _finally_," Santana began. "Killing two birds with one stone."

"Good_night_, Santana." Kurt replied icily.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Santana drawled.

"Goodnight, Barbra!" Rachel called from her room.

"She doesn't like you." Sam added helpfully.

And they all had a restful few hours before Barbra needed tending to again. In a fit of protest when nobody would wake, she urinated all over Rachel's shoes, to Kurt immense pleasure. Rachel would protest to this day that Kurt set her up to it. But when she asked, Kurt would continuously deny it. It was funny how animals listened when humans talked about things they disliked, including Rachel's admittedly awful shoes.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**SONG: Heartstrings **by _**Leighton Meester**_

* * *

><p>Tears pouring down his face, Kurt wondered how he could be so damn stupid!<p>

He had been told time and time again to not let Noah Puckerman into his life or into his heart. But he had decided to give the boy a chance, to be forgiving and see if Noah would redeem himself for his past actions. At the start, it was going well. So far, so good. It only took one sexy cougar for Noah to revert back to his whorish ways and stray. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Wherever adultery was, Noah was right there in the centre of it.

"How _could_ you, Noah? You know what? Don't even answer that! I already know. Let me guess. She was barely clad in any sort of material, maybe with just a leopard print satin gown draped over her. She needed help fixing her plumbing systems or maybe even it was the lamp in her bedroom. Then one things lead to another and she initiated sex and you couldn't say no. How am I doing so far?"

Noah looked sadly up at the irate boy he once called his beautiful boyfriend and nodded.

"Brilliant." Kurt spat sardonically. "After being warned about you, I still have to let you in. You've managed to both pluck my heartstrings and create a beautiful melody and also cut them off in the same day. I fucking love you, okay? But now you've completely shattered everything I wanted. Gone. Destroyed."

"Kurt, I'm—."

"Do _not_ apologise to me, Puck." Noah hated the way Kurt spat his high school nickname. It reminded him of the Kurt that despised him for being a vicious bully who wouldn't relent. "I was doing fine before you wormed your way into my life. And I was stupid. I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO SANTANA WHILE I HAD THE CHANCE. Before I fell for you."

"Kurt, please."

"I don't want to hear it. Pack your stuff. And leave. I never want to see you again. We're done. Have a nice life." Kurt slammed the door shut behind him and tried not to fall apart. Noah sniffled as he packed up his guitar and all his important things before leaving Kurt a note.

_For what it's worth, I'll always regret this day. _

_I'll love you forever, Kurt. _

_Your Noah x_

But he wasn't Kurt's Noah anymore and he never would be again.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: This Time Around <strong>by _**Tove Lo**_

"Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?" Blaine grinned nervously up at the love of his life. Sure, they had broken up because they weren't ready for marriage, but this time around they were and they both knew it. "All you have to do is say yes."

"Yes." Kurt replied easily. Wrapping himself around his boyf—fiancé, Kurt reflected on just how happy he and Blaine were going to be together. This time would work, he knew it. They kissed passionately and the onlookers watched and applauded happily for them both. The whole Glee Club was there, both sets of parents and their old Warblers friends. They had all assembled and made their moment of engagement the best it could possibly have been. Surrounded by everybody they loved, how could it have been better, anyway?

"This means forever, this time around, though, B. No fucking around. That goes for both of us. I love you so much and I don't want to waste another _second_ of my life not showing you that you're my endgame. You always have been and you always will be."

"I have no worries about this not lasting, Kurt. Everything feels right this time. You are my everything and the time spent apart from you has been awful. Just ask Sam. He can tell you just how much of a depressive wreck I've been lately." Kurt glanced to Sam, who nodded knowingly. Kurt chuckled and turned back to his fiancé.

"Well you'll never be without me again, I promise. This ring is truly beautiful, Blaine."

"It doesn't quite live up to the one wearing it though, does it?" Blaine looked around, everyone nodding with tears shining in their eyes. Santana lifted up Kurt's hand and ogled it closely.

"It's passable. Lady Hummel will only tolerate the best." She shrugged at Blaine's faux-murderous look and strutted back to Brittany, who was crying.

"It's lucky that I'm about to marry the best, then, isn't it?"

"It certainly is." Blaine winked and kissed Kurt again once more.

Yeah, they would be alright after all.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Bones <strong>by _**MS MR**_

Santana groaned as she heard Rachel belt out _Who Are You Now _for what felt like the thousandth time that day. She understood perfectly that Rachel was in a Broadway show and always had to be on her A-Game, but there had to be limits, you know? Kurt sat down next to her, earbuds in, mouthing along to some Sondheim ballad that Santana would claim that she was unaware of. She tugged them out and shook her head.

"Absolutely not, Hummel. If I have to endure the hours of suffering listening to the same rendition of the same song on repeat, then you have to too."

"Then put your headphones in, too! We can escape it together." Kurt bartered, wanting to continue his Into The Woods stream.

"I tried that, fuckwit, but she was too damn loud!" Rachel's singing stopped at that moment and it was not a few seconds before the opening notes of _I'm The Greatest Star_ came from Rachel's mouth. Santana gritted her teeth. "I swear, I will rip out her bones and use them as drumsticks if she doesn't silence herself soon."

"Wow, that's a little grim, Santana. Even if my rendition of this particular selection was in fact miles better than hers, it's not that extreme."

"Preach to that! You knocked that song out of the park. But wouldn't it be just so much fun to go into the newbies' Glee Club rehearsal and use Berry's femurs as the sticks when playing the millionth Journey song to ever be performed in that room? Imagine their faces. I think Mr Schuester would cry!"

"Of course he would! I think anyone would! Just because you, and maybe myself, would obtain some pleasure from extracting the bones from our friend doesn't mean that the rest of the world is ready for our sadism."

"I knew you would be on board!"

Kurt left the room. "If you repeat it, I'll deny it!"

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: Some People <strong>from _**Gypsy: A Musical Fable**_

"Some people just don't get it! I mean, how can Scrubs possibly be better than Grey's Anatomy?" Kurt discussed the absurd notion with his boyfriend, who looked down at him and smiled.

"Beats me, honey. Maybe it's the fact that Grey's, whilst being superior, doesn't have as much comedy as Scrubs does, and the latter is vastly simpler to understand." Sam chipped in, knowing Kurt would rant about this for hours. He had better prepare for some extremely furious sex that coming night, which he totally wasn't daydreaming about whilst Kurt was speaking to me. Or rather, _at_ him.

"Cristina Yang is all the comedy one could want in a show. And why watch a medical show if you don't want to sit through the interesting medical semantics and hooking storylines. Did these basic bitches even _watch_ Season Six?"

Sam nodded, thinking back on the best season of the long-running TV Show. "I can't argue with you there. Season Six was damn good."

"You're just thinking about Dr Jackson Avery, aren't you babe?" Kurt knew his boyfriend all too well.

"Oh, like you don't credit him even partially for adding to the sixth season's _appeal_?"

"I didn't say that! Though I happen to have a quite large crush on Dr Percy. There's just something about him that I can't place."

Sam felt a stripe of jealousy lick up his back. "Is that so?"

"Someone's jealous of a fictional character."

"Says the guy who always complains about how unfair it is that Blair Waldorf gets to sleep with Chuck Bass and he doesn't?"

"Can you even argue with me about him?"

"But his abs aren't as good as mine?" Sam lifted up his shirt and Kurt stroked his stomach, purring.

"Not even close." Kurt leant in and kissed his boyfriend, smiling into his mouth as he thought of what was about to happen.

* * *

><p><strong>SONG: I Know Where I've Been <strong>from _**Hairspray**_

Brittany wandered into the choir room, only seeing Kurt sat at the piano.

"Kurtie!"

"Hey, Britt. Where were you in Glee rehearsal?"

"We have Glee rehearsal now." She said matter-of-factly.

"No, honey, it was an hour ago. Did you get lost again?"

Brittany hated Kurt being right and knowing her so well. "Nope."

"Did you end up taking the earlier left turn into the Science classroom?"

"Nope."

"Britt."

"I know where I've been, Kurtie. I've been talking to the duck that lives in Mr Schue's 'Hat of Fate'. It always wanders into the hat without knowing and gets lost, just like I do. We have a lot in common. We even have the same birthday! So I said that Freddy could come to my next birthday party!"

"Freddy?"

"Oh yeah, he didn't know his name, so I named him!"

"Britt, there isn't actually a duck in the hat, you know?"

"Duh, Kurtie." Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. "It's not in the hat anymore. I told it to stay away or else it might get paired with Rachel in the next ballads assignment." Kurt had to giggle at that, but was bemused as to whether Brittany thought there was actually a duck somewhere in the Science wing.

"You're very sweet, Brittany." Kurt smiled soothingly.

"So is Freddy! He told me that I was really pretty and was a good dancer and he said that you were a better singer than Rachel." Kurt chuckled once more, presuming these were Brittany's thoughts and not Freddy's.

Santana appeared in the doorway. "Britt, we have Cheerios practice now! Come on, we can't be late." Brittany kissed Kurt on the cheek and skipped away, linking fingers with Santana and walking to practice.

Just as Kurt was about to tinkle the keys of the piano, he heard a faint quacking sound from somewhere to his left. The Science room?

No, there was definitely a sound coming from there. And it was definitely a quack.

Maybe Brittany was right after all.

Maybe there had always been a duck in the hat.


End file.
